If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The best revenge is premature balding
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
