i permit you to call me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
