and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
