My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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