I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
