my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize