If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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