How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
