Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
