Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
