yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
