If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
