Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
