Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
