just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
