Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
