I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
