You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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