Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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