Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
