I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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