Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
