I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
