I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Brb crying the tears of my youth
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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