Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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