the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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