ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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