Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
