you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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