Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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