the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize