i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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