Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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