we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
