:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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