just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
