You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
