I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
