they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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