If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
