I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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