Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize