apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
