John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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