so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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