Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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