That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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