i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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