i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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