Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
