It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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