dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize