Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
