it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
