Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
