if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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