Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
nut hugger
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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